George Wallace

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whoo Maura I'm back you remember me I'm back is always good to be back in Montreal hot what a great city well listen to this down in America they just did a wildlife survey wasting our money three million dollars a wildlife survey that said there's only 29 white rhinoceros left in the world 29 white rhinoceros what the hell do I care about how many rhinoceros left on the world on the other hand if they came back and told me there's only 15 chickens left we got a major problem on our hands here what can I do to chip in on this research I'm telling you right now somebody came and told me there's only 15 chickens left I got to go our chicken has the worst life of any animal on this planet you ever think about that a chicken has a bad life a chicken is the only animal on this planet that never dies of natural causes chicken has a bad life you're never you can see a dead chicken laying on side the road do you you see that dog the depths comes for never dead chicken you never see a lot of things you never see you never see blockbuster video stores being built just driving down the street things you never see you never see homeless people in the country we never see homeless people in the country would assign willing to work for food and farmers are grabbing I go what the hell you think we're doing I know I need to go to jail for saying a lot of things I said tonight but a lot of people need to go to jail you know that you know who needs to go to jail people that pass you on the freeway and then go slower than you were going they need to go to jail the weatherman needs to go to jail weatherman has the only job in the world where he's never writing to say all right come on back in tomorrow what a man always telling you what it's almost gonna be mostly chances are chances are you go to school to teach you ask you how much is three plus four you can't go nearly seven with a 20% chance of being a and maybe nine in the low-lying areas hm I see my water man go hey this gun is partly loaded hey is it gonna rain or not a lot of people need to go to jail people that win these lotteries force footage at 6:49 they need to go to day they need to go to just think every time they went all this money and they keep saying I'm gonna keep my job like the man in Wisconsin what a hundred million dollars said he's going to go back this job teaching I said apparently he doesn't teach math I went a hundred million dollars I'm going back to my job ain't gonna do nothing say what I came in late and I'm leaving early talking to that people that snore always depress to fall asleep why is there security guard at the Salvation Army's door who wants to be caught stealing crap from the Salvation Army's going a lot of things I don't understand where they're coming up with the titles for these new movies while you were sleeping they don't even finish the titles anymore why you were sleeping well what the hell Napa while I was leaving where are they coming up with these titles Dumb and Dumber well you can add to that after I paid my 750 dumb then they had the piano did you see the piano this is about eventually somebody getting two fingers chopped off so I said if that's what the pianos about I'm not wanted in that cracker I need one more thing I want to talk about say huh I want to talk about something very very serious and that is I want to talk about the way you people drive in Montreal you people drive like you're crazy I'm surprised you don't have more handicapped parking spaces away you guys I'm driving on the highway coming in from the airport I'm doing 80 miles an hour and I'm passing nobody three school buses shop I mean zoom zoom zoom and look here for giving me the finger